Writing is hard. Before I started a business, before I did yoga, before I became a real estate agent, I wrote. It seems like I can do anything in the world I want. Travel, earn degrees, start businesses, but writing is the hardest.
There is just so much at stake.
But don’t worry. I’m not going to take this blog too seriously. Seriously enough to sit down and write of course, but not seriously enough to care a lot about how much everyone loves me.
Yeah, right! I care, a lot!
Anyway, back to yoga and business. I haven’t been to a yoga class in a few days. I practice for a few minutes every day, often just one restorative pose, and I teach several times a week. But you know how sweet it is when you have a teacher you really like and you go all the time? You know how great it is when you’re in class, doing 90 minutes of yoga five times a week? I want that. I feel like I should be at a point in my practice where I just wake up and practice by myself for 90 minutes. I keep waiting for that to evolve naturally into my way of being. It hasn’t happened yet.
The idea in my life right now is just to keep doing the things I know I need to do. Keep writing, keep doing yoga, keep tending to the business and answering emails. Just, day after day, do it regardless of whether people like it or are coming or are paying me enough. Somewhere is the faith that my needs will be taken care of if I just keep doing what I’m put on the earth to do. I just haven’t been able to sustain the faith. It comes in flashes and then disappears, which makes me think it’s more of a hunch than faith. I’d like something a little more sustaining.
Yoga is all about being unattached to results. We do our duty, that’s it. If we’re truly connected, then we are at peace no matter what happens, no matter how many people come to our class, or whether our business fails or succeeds... Then why am I always such a mess?
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