the secret?

I have to admit that I’ve read a little of the success literature. I read a Jack Canfield book, I started Napoleon Hill’s Think and Grow Rich. I didn’t finish, but I got the idea. I read a book called Creative Visualization that claims to be a classic.

Last night I watched a Frontline documentary that told stories of how people in one Upper East Side hair salon have been affected by this economy. There were two stories in particular that really got to me. One was a man in his fifties who had been a HR exec and was laid off. It showed him going to networking meetings, sending off hundreds of resumes, driving around, going to interviews, seeing a coach. I’m sure his coach has heard of the Secret. Then there was a couple that owned a coffee shop that failed. They were $200,000 in debt and completely dejected.

It is silly and presumptuous to say that if only these people had visualized a little more clearly, had understood the Law of Attraction, had relaxed deeper, meditated more, etc., then they would not have these problems. That’s my big issue with the (very public) Secret. It’s not better than the churches that are popping up that claim if you love Jesus enough, he will give you money. What about all of the devout people in poor countries who don’t have enough to eat? Should we just all give them a Secret DVD and call it a day? Oh wait, what will they watch it on?

It’s absurd, but I do think there is a kernel of truth in there somewhere. Years before I owned a yoga studio, I imagined myself owning a yoga studio. If I hadn’t, when the opportunity arose, I wouldn’t have even recognized it as an opportunity. What I want definitely won’t manifest if I don’t first have a picture of what it is that I want. Of course, there are plenty of things that I have imagined happening that never did. It requires sustained attention and real desire or else I just won’t do the work. There’s nothing magic or secret about that.

The idea though that getting what I want will make me happy is absurd. Things, even big, amazing, wonderful things, will never make me happy. That’s the heart of yoga, really. That’s the truth of non-duality.

The one author I held onto from the canon of success literature is Deepak Chopra. He basically says what the Secret people say, but he acknowledges that we are going to have obstacles, sometimes really big ones, and that getting what we want materially has nothing to do with how satisfied we are in our lives.

And then there’s the letting go, which Deepak insists we must do. I have found that having an intention and then grasping on to it, obsessing over it, examining how close or far I am from it, fantasizing about what life will be like once I have achieved it, has not worked well for me. Somehow I have to release the desire to the universe, and Chopra claims that the universe will handle all of the details. I can’t orchestrate it, which is the tough part for me. God knows I try.

When I first envisioned owning a yoga studio, I imagined how it would feel to come to work in yoga pants and sit at reception in my very own yoga studio. I had no idea how that would happen. I envisioned it a few times and then I let go of it. It was easy to let go of, because while there was a weird little tentative faith that it would happen, for the most part, I thought it was highly unlikely at best. I had no money and I lived in a city saturated with yoga studios. But the universe did handle the details, and a couple of years later gave me a yoga studio. As all my readers know, I have found that there is a lot more to that gift than coming to work in my pjs.

Overall, I’m definitely a grasper. That’s the problem with the success literature. It seems so simple that it’s very easy for me to get greedy. Then I fantasize and grasp and cling and struggle, and that’s not it at all. Not it at all. The other problem I have with most of the success literature is that it never mentions that once we get it, we will almost certainly find that it presents way more challenges that we realized. Just because it comes doesn’t mean that it will be easy or successful or feel right or make us happy. In all likelihood, what it will do is challenge us, raise the bar, heighten the uncertainty, give us more to lose.

Who knows? That might in fact be just what we need.