pruning

A friend who's a little older and probably a hell of a lot wiser than me told me recently that at a certain point in her life, she asked God to take anything that wasn't necessary. That way, as she put it, she could be miserable for awhile and then get on with her life.

I loved that. It made so much sense to me. I've spent so much of the last year worried about losing stuff, losing face, losing money. Now I have the same prayer. God, take it! Whatever isn't useful. Let's get it over with! Let's rip that bandage right off.

God got busy pretty quick. Within a day, I found a little cottage that had exactly the things that I've been wanting since I moved into the apartment where I live now, washer/dryer, outdoor space, big kitchen. So I took it. Doesn't sound much like pruning, does it? Except that I'm going from 1000 square feet of fully furnished living space to 450. Every stick of furniture that isn't essential has to go. I love it! I'm so tired of accumulating shit I don't need. I want it gone.

Later in the week, I had a huge blowout with a friend. It sounds very callous to say I'm pruning friends, but I am having a long, hard look at relationships. Some of my relationships are dysfunctional and kick me in the ass time after time after time. And I always go back for more. My fear, I'm sure, is of being alone. I don't have a million friends. Honestly, I'm kind of shy, and it's not that easy to get to know me. Don't I need all the friends I can get? No. Even some of the friends I love I have to let go of. They're not working. I don't have to keep trying. I'll be okay. They'll be okay, and if they're not, I probably couldn't help them much anyway.

And then today, my car got broken into. They took my little GPS. I really like that GPS. It has a lovely male British voice who tells me to "take the motorway" when I need to take the motorway. I let it guide me even when I know where I'm going. There's something soothing about never being lost. I've grown to love it. But it is an unnecessary possession. My phone has GPS. It doesn't talk to me, but it will get me from A to B. That's all I need, and really even that is a luxury I've done without 31 of the last 33 years.

I don't mind that my car got broken into. I just don't care. It makes me a tiny bit sad to think of my British friend Tom Tom being traded for a hit of crack, but I can bear it. Easily.

There are things that I am terrified of losing. My dog. My business. My family. My health. I hope God doesn't try to teach me any REALLY important lessons right now. But there is a lot that I am ready to see go. The idea with pruning of course is that what comes back is better, healthier, more vibrant. It's hurts at first, maybe, but it paves the way for better things. I'm ready! Bring it on.

Meanwhile, the business is growing. I have all my big plans, a new pricing structure, new marketing ideas, enormous new goals. But not because there's something wrong. I just like change, and I love growth. I want to keep making it better, more useful and more effective for more people. That's my job. Pruning helps.